P-Town Waffles

by John MichaelNov 10, 2014

Gaufre Gourmet tl;dr

If you were to casually say the word ‘Gaufre’ to me, I would then ask you what you just called me. Suffice to say, I didn’t take up the lovely language of France during my younger years and would never have known that you were actually saying ‘waffle.’ In which case I would then throw my money at you and beg for a bite of whatever kind of variety waffle you were offering.

Waffles in Bed

After wiping whatever topping was glazed on said waffle, I would then nonchalantly wipe my mouth on the back of my hand and pretend that what had just transpired was merely a figment of your vivid imagination. Not saying that I’m ashamed of my sweet tooth, but I won’t deny that I’m a touch sugar crazed and generally cave in to my more base baked good desires; on general principle I shall have you know.

Portland The Gaufre Gourmet Signage

And if anything, I’m a man of principle and like wise cave in to my confectionery cravings more often than not. One such incident occurred while I was walking the cold streets of Portland exploring all the food trucks that P-town had to offer. After experimenting with the wild menagerie of offerings that Blue Star Donuts had on display, I just knew that in my heart of hearts that there was more to Portland than met the eye… or nose, stomach, or taste buds for the matter.

As I was rounding the corner from the downtown Westin Hotel we were staying at, I came across the most wonderful smell that wafted on the brisk morning air currents from an unknown source down the road directly into my barely awake brain; drawing me closer one step at a time. I saw their sign on the sidewalk highlighting waffles and was instantly lost in a haze leading me to the ordering window.

As I stepped up to greet the Liege style waffle maker I was confounded by another set of issues. ‘Which waffle to order?’ There were so many to pick from: the tried and true Original Liege Waffle, the super sweet Almond Joy, perhaps the refreshing Strawberry Lemonade or maybe the savory Biscuit and Gravy. They all sounded so good and judging by the pictures present, I knew that they had to be. In the end after much internal deliberation I figured that if one was good, then two must be amazing:

Maple Bacon Waffle with maple frosting and crispy bacon
Chunky Monkey covered in Nutella, bananas, balsamic caramel sauce and candied pecans

Portland The Gaufre Gourmet Banana Walnut Waffle

The bacon made my mouth water so much that I had to eat it right there and then. The saltiness of the crisp bacon combined with the sweet maple frosting on top of the freshly made waffle sent me straight to heaven. It was everything that I had hoped it would be and more.

After finishing that little bit of awesome I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand to the shocked faces of those around me and nonchalantly walked away carrying my other waffle back to the hotel room to consume in the privacy that only closed doors can provide.

I won’t tell you whether I ate it just as savagely as I did the first. I won’t tell you how the crunchy caramelized exterior hid the chewy brioche style dough within nor will I tell you how the banana, Nutella and balsamic caramel came together in the perfect meld of awesome on my taste buds. I won’t go into detail about something that I may or may not have done. However if I did, I would imagine that to this day I still get a touch of a pseudo stomach ache when I fondly thought of the amount of sugar that was consumed in that half hour of the Fall.

Oh hell! I ate it and I’m proud that I ate it. And I’d do it again, and again and then some.